I'm over halfway through the useful part of my life and I've failed you. Okay that could be a bit dramatic... I haven't entirely failed you... I mean I'm doing that lesson thing I signed up for quite well and I got rid of those guides that were sending me up the garden path of self loathing.... But on a scale of 1-10 (1 being Soul's dead and 10 being Soul's pumped) I'm giving you about a 2 or 3. On a positive note, I guess that tells me I haven't totally knocked you off yet which shows me there's still hope. ...Isn't there???
Here's the thing though Soul. This is the (Soul) destroying part. I know what you need. Can you believe it! How many people don't know what you need? So many don't have the foggiest clue. I know because I hear about it over and over and over. I absolutely, one hundred percent know what you need, but fuck me if I can figure out how to fully work it into our life. I say our because we're a partnership right? And I owe it to you to do every damn thing I can think of to fill your tanks before I cark it and you get to go hang out with someone else.
So like a heroin addict, I get the slightest snort of possibility and I follow that line with a fervour I don't think Hitler could even match. ..... The problem is Soul, those lines... those roads... they all have dead ends and if I'm really honest with us, I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to get you that meaning you'd just kill for. Well, I know you know I'd never kill anyone, it's just a turn of phrase.
Hey! You know how Zombies are like the living dead? Yeah I think that's us Soul. I wonder if that's okay to live like a Zombie. What do you think? I mean, you can still be reasonably happy as a walking corpse can't you, so that could be good enough. Maybe! Is good enough, enough? You know.... living a half arsed life with just enough Soul sustenance to keep you wanting more.
Reasonable logic I think, but NO! That's just good enough for us is it! You keep asking and I don't deliver, so we need to find another way. I need your help here; I'm fresh out of ideas and I need your input. I'll make you a pact. If you help me out here I promise to do everything humanly possible to give you enough nourishment so you don't jump ship. What do you think? Fair deal?
Soul...I'm listening and I'm so fucking ready!
Love, Hugs and Handshakes
Your Partner in (crime) and Service